Monday, June 01, 2009

tick tock tick tock tick tock

Well, if I had a biological clock, that is what it would be doing. So instead I present you with what my "adoption womb" is doing.

Our best guess is still that we will get our referral anywhere from the end of July to the end of August. But I wouldn't be surprised if it extends to September. Either way, we are for sure going to be travelling this year to get our little Tiger! We still don't have a name picked out. You understand that we will probably be on the plane over the pacific still discussing names....

I received some distressing news from my employer. It seems that while I can take up to 12 weeks leave as required by law under FMLA, I will receive no compensation. I also understand that if I were giving birth to a child, rather than adopting, I would receive 6 weeks of paid time off as part of what I could take under FMLA. I guess I never realized prior to this journey all the... what's the word I'm looking for here?.... the... second class treatment that adoptive moms get. I mean, after all, we aren't REAL moms.... according to many.

It is so frustrating to be in this situation. We've had so many obstacles to overcome on this LOOOOONNNNNGGGGGG journey that I just want to know, can't we catch a break?

This too shall pass. No one ever promised that life would be fair. We will be ok, I'll take the full 12 weeks (instead of only 6) and will bond with my beautiful baby girl. No, we won't have money to live high on the hog, but we'll be ok. It's just hurtful to think that not everyone will recognize our family as being "real" and that my child will go through life with other's questioning our family and perhaps not being treated equally.

But, I still love Derek, and he loves me, and we'll love our little Tiger. That's all that matters, right?


Lisa said...

Does your employer allow you to use any sick/pto time that you have accumulated? Most employers will allow that much. I am the FMLA administrator where I work and while we don't differentiate between adoption/birth, we do allow sick/vacation time.

Sorry to hear that though. :(

Suzanne said...

I can use vacation, but I only have 2.5 weeks of that to use. There is no sick time or PTO at my company. Vacation is it.