Wednesday, July 29, 2009


A few things that I've ordered have come in over the past few days. First of all, our Ergo Sport Baby Carrier came this weekend. I'm dying to try it out, but the puppy dog just doesn't want to cooperate with me on that.
A few books also came in... Rosie's Adoption Story, I Don't Have Your Eyes, and Red Thread Journey; a Fairy Tale. So Cute!!
Tonight I am going to a large consignment sale at the local Catholic church. I went to this same sale back in January and bought so many cute spring and summer outfits. Yes, those same outfits that are now probably going to waste. Today starts the fall and winter sale, so I am going to stock up.
The good news is that I found out that anyone can be a consignor. You don't have to be a member of the church. So all those things I bought before... if they end up not being used, I can take them back and re-sell them in January. They tell you to price your item at 30% of the retail price. Then if it sells, you get 70% and the church gets 30%, for which you get a tax receipt for a donation. A friend of mine said she made over $700 at one of the sales!!! Woo Hoo!!! So, I feel much more inclined to do my shopping for fall and winter. I'll buy a few 6 month things, a lot of 9 month things, and a few 12 month things. That should cover the range I need.
I can't wait. I'll try to post pictures of any treasures that I find!!

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Friday, July 24, 2009

Pins and Needles

Since figuring out we are next NEXT and should be receiving our referral at the end of September, I've been on Pins and Needles. All day long I've got packing lists and to do lists and what not dancing through my head. Every morning I must check the blogs of those in China now and it makes me giddy with excitement.
This is not good. This is going to make the next 2 months DRAG by.
The good news is that this months referrals had a lot of very young babies. The youngest referral I've ever seen was this month and it was for a 5 1/2 month old. I would LOVE to get a young young baby. I'm not counting on it, and I won't be disappointed if we don't, but it sure would be nice to have more of our daughter's babyhood, and that means less time for her without a mom and a dad.
So, there is a chance that all those 12 month old clothes I bought will not go to waste after all... we might be using them next spring if we get a young baby! Chinese babies are typically smaller anyway. It would not be uncommon for a 12 month old child to wear 6-9 month old clothing. But of course, with all the different ethnic minorities in China, this is not a hard and fast rule.
So that's where we are right now. In the final countdown. Less than 2 months to referral. My birthday is in August, right around the time referrals are expected. I have my last triathlon for the season on August 16th. Clemson Football starts on September 5th. If there ever was a time where I wished for time to fly by, this is it.

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Monday, July 20, 2009

September it is...

The big news today is that the CCAA has mailed referrals for families logged in on 3-21 and 3-22. What this means for us, is that next month, the referrals should be for 3-23, 3-24, 3-25, and 3-26. (3-23 and 3-24 are medium big days and 3-25 and 3-26 are teeny tiny). We are a shoo in for September. I am 95% sure this is when it's gonna happen- when we will receive our referral. I think at this point the only thing that would prevent that from happening is if referrals stopped altogether for a month again.
So, a referral in September (likely the week of 9-21 through 9-25) would mean we will travel to China late October/Early November. YAY!!! We should be home in time for Thanksgiving. The long wait is almost over. It's hard to comprehend.
I would like to address something that today I had to address with my mom. I will not be taking the baby to any baby showers, parties, or any kind of get together until we are home for several months. Over stimulation for a child who has only known a very small world can cause them to shut down and will make the attachment process harder.
Let me paint the picture for you... a child, who is around a year old... has never ever left the orphanage except on the day she was brought to you. If she was fortunate enough to be in foster care, she was likely in a home that was very simple, perhaps even dirt floors.
Suddenly for the first time in her life she is removed from that world. And handed over to 2 people who look nothing like her other caregivers. Who smell weird and want her to eat different food. Her clothes are different too... no longer bundled up in 10 layers. And airconditioning in the hotel...this is new too. Suddenly she's in an airport... surrounded by a crowd of people...loud noises and lots of lights. Then she is on a plane for at least 17 hours. Day is night and night is now day. She is brought into a new home...all the Chinese faces have disappeared... no one looks familiar. The things these people are saying... they don't sound anything like the sounds she's heard. Suddenly there is a furry creature there....
That is a lot of change to happen to a one year old in a very short amount of time. When we come home, our world will be very small. We are going to be at home most of the time. Any trips out of the house will be to quiet places like the library, or a park, or for a walk in the neighborhood. If I have to take her to the store, she will be in the carrier facing me and we will go when I know not a lot of people will be there. Even though it will be near Christmas, the only decorations I will likely put up are the tree and stockings. All my attention will be on this child and teaching her what it means to have a mommy and a daddy and a home. After we get home I will only have 10 weeks before I am back at work full time. I have to make sure she is as attached to us as possible, and part of that means keeping her world small.
Until we feel she's bonded with us, Derek and I will be the only ones to hold her and feed her and change her. She has to learn that we are her parents and she can trust on us to take care of her.
I'm not going to be one of those parents who think their way is the only way. BUT, I am going to be vigilant about helping her bond with us in the beginning as that will set the stage for how secure she is her entire life. I'm reading the books, doing the research. I realize there are no guarantees. And our daughter may bond to us very quickly and I will be able to relax more about it when we are home. I have to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I have to be ready for this to be a difficult transition.
I know many of you mean well, and think, "Oh it will be ok, all you have to do is love her and she'll fall in love with you and Derek."  I respect the fact that many of you are parents and grandparents and you have a wealth of experience and advice. But please know that parenting a child who has been instituionalized her entire life and has been abandoned twice (1st by birth parents and 2nd by her orphanage caregivers)is different than giving birth to a child. If we do it right in the beginning, the chance for problems later greatly diminishes. So while I realize you do know what you are doing for your children, please respect our wishes concerning our child.  I can't wait to introduce her to our friends and family... but I will do so only as I feel she can handle it... one at a time... most likely in our home.
I hope you all can share in our joy and I hope that no one gets their feelings hurt. We are just trying to do what we feel is best for our daughter.

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