You take your left foot out. You put your left foot in and you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about!
Conflicting reports are in. Some folks are reporting referrals won't be mailed until after the Chinese holiday period. Another agency is reporting a package on the way due to deliver Wednesday, and while they don't know what's in it, they are speculating referrals.
At this point I don't know if I should jump on the roller coaster or not...
Lauren found her dream laptop. Find the PC that's right for you.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
This is a post about not much
This morning we got a little news. Seems there are more agencies reporting that they think the 29th is in. This doesn't really affect us, since we are for sure next, but it may explain why they are taking longer with referrals. Still no news as to when they are going to send referrals. I am hoping for next week before they break for their holiday. But if they send them after Tuesday I may have to wait another weekend. Will this wait ever end?
In other news, I am a big ole hot mess right now. Super duper amounts of nervous energy. Enough to drive Derek crazy. So I am planning projects to do over the weekends to keep myself occupied. This weekend I plan to paint the stairwell and landing, our guest bathroom, and our guest bedroom. I am a painting madwoman. I actually plan to do this all on Sunday. Hopefully I can get it all done. If not, I've got another weekend on the horizon...
Color choices: stairwell and landing: China Doll. Most of my house is painted China Doll. It's a really light tan, very much a cool neutral.
Bathroom: Down Pour: this is a dark blue, more in the royal family than the navy.
Bedroom: Light lilac
Will post pictures!
Microsoft brings you a new way to search the web. Try Bing™ now
In other news, I am a big ole hot mess right now. Super duper amounts of nervous energy. Enough to drive Derek crazy. So I am planning projects to do over the weekends to keep myself occupied. This weekend I plan to paint the stairwell and landing, our guest bathroom, and our guest bedroom. I am a painting madwoman. I actually plan to do this all on Sunday. Hopefully I can get it all done. If not, I've got another weekend on the horizon...
Color choices: stairwell and landing: China Doll. Most of my house is painted China Doll. It's a really light tan, very much a cool neutral.
Bathroom: Down Pour: this is a dark blue, more in the royal family than the navy.
Bedroom: Light lilac
Will post pictures!
Microsoft brings you a new way to search the web. Try Bing™ now
Thursday, September 24, 2009
I think the stork got lost...
Perhaps we should have given the stork a GPS unit for the trip....
Bing™ brings you maps, menus, and reviews organized in one place. Try it now.
Bing™ brings you maps, menus, and reviews organized in one place. Try it now.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Enough already!
You know, after 41 months and 27 days of official waiting, I thought I was a patient person. Really I did. I have been so good during this wait. We've accomplished so much and really, both of us have not struggled. We've enjoyed each other, we've done things we knew would be hard with a little one, we more or less lived our lives, and lived them fully.
The past 2 weeks have been absolute torture for me. I don't know about Derek... he really is my calm center... he has the patience of Job! But I am going crazy. I think for me if I had a date when I knew I could count on, I would be ok. But this not knowing part, but knowing it's close... it's insane.
Right now there are rumors that the Chinese govt is going to wait and send referrals just before they leave for their national holiday, which begins 10-1. That means if they mail on Sept 30th, they will land in the US on 10-2 or 10-5, and we will receive the information the following day. There are also rumors that they aren't going to send them until after they return from holiday, which is 10-8. That would mean we wouldn't hear until 10-13 or 10-14. That to me is unbearable. How in the heck am I supposed to wait until then? Arghhhh!!!!!!! And, if we don't hear until then, we will likely be travelling in mid to late November and will miss Thanksgiving at home. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
But, there are also people who believe that they may mail referrals out at the end of this week, and there is always the chance that they've already been mailed.
Do you see why I'm going nuts?
Hotmail® has ever-growing storage! Don't worry about storage limits. Check it out.
The past 2 weeks have been absolute torture for me. I don't know about Derek... he really is my calm center... he has the patience of Job! But I am going crazy. I think for me if I had a date when I knew I could count on, I would be ok. But this not knowing part, but knowing it's close... it's insane.
Right now there are rumors that the Chinese govt is going to wait and send referrals just before they leave for their national holiday, which begins 10-1. That means if they mail on Sept 30th, they will land in the US on 10-2 or 10-5, and we will receive the information the following day. There are also rumors that they aren't going to send them until after they return from holiday, which is 10-8. That would mean we wouldn't hear until 10-13 or 10-14. That to me is unbearable. How in the heck am I supposed to wait until then? Arghhhh!!!!!!! And, if we don't hear until then, we will likely be travelling in mid to late November and will miss Thanksgiving at home. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
But, there are also people who believe that they may mail referrals out at the end of this week, and there is always the chance that they've already been mailed.
Do you see why I'm going nuts?
Hotmail® has ever-growing storage! Don't worry about storage limits. Check it out.
Monday, September 21, 2009
A post about nothing...
Can you hear it? Silence.
BOOOOOOOOO.
Hurry up stork, flap those wings faster!
Ready for Fall shows? Use Bing to find helpful ratings and reviews on digital tv's. Click here.
BOOOOOOOOO.
Hurry up stork, flap those wings faster!
Ready for Fall shows? Use Bing to find helpful ratings and reviews on digital tv's. Click here.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
A post about something other than the impending referral
Thank goodness there is a big game to distract me this weekend. Oops, I guess I mentioned something about the referral. Oh well, this is then the post that is almost about something other than our referral...
Rumor Queen
You've probably read many references to Rumor Queen on my blog. Who is she? What is this website?
Rumor Queen is the reason I know so much about the adoption process in China. She is an adoptive mom herself, to two little girls who she refers to as GlitterGirl and TwinkleToes. She is anonymous, as the CCAA and her agency would probably be very upset with her if they knew who she was. Why, I don't know.
She reads all the different adoption sites daily, and she takes information that readers send her from their agencies and compiles it. If she's hearing it from a lot of different sources, she will rate it as a R4 or R5 which means she stakes her reputation on it being correct. She may also do this if the information is being put out by an agency that is usually right about such things. If she only hears rumors form a few sources or unreliable sources, it may only garner an R1 or R2.
She has been invaluable to all China adoptive parents in waiting because without her, we would not have any information. Agencies are very guarded with the information they put out, so as to not offend the CCAA. Trust is everything, and if the CCAA(the govt agency that handles adoptions in China) knew that a specific agency was putting out sensitive information, they would definitely jeopardize their relationship.
Not only does Rumor Queen know about the rumors of what's going on, she is very knowledgeable about the process on the Chinese side of things. She has spoken with people who are VERYCLOSE to the process in China and has some insider information. Seriously- this lady knows more than most US agencies.
And so she's been a lifeline for all of us waiting families. I check site daily, and here lately, every hour. Waiting for the announcement that referrals are on their way. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. If it weren't for her, I would not have a clue when my referral was expected.
And so I hit refresh. And wait. And read. And wait.
Next week is our week. I feel it in the depths of my soul. We will know our daughter next week.
Your E-mail and More On-the-Go. Get Windows Live Hotmail Free. Sign up now.
Rumor Queen is the reason I know so much about the adoption process in China. She is an adoptive mom herself, to two little girls who she refers to as GlitterGirl and TwinkleToes. She is anonymous, as the CCAA and her agency would probably be very upset with her if they knew who she was. Why, I don't know.
She reads all the different adoption sites daily, and she takes information that readers send her from their agencies and compiles it. If she's hearing it from a lot of different sources, she will rate it as a R4 or R5 which means she stakes her reputation on it being correct. She may also do this if the information is being put out by an agency that is usually right about such things. If she only hears rumors form a few sources or unreliable sources, it may only garner an R1 or R2.
She has been invaluable to all China adoptive parents in waiting because without her, we would not have any information. Agencies are very guarded with the information they put out, so as to not offend the CCAA. Trust is everything, and if the CCAA(the govt agency that handles adoptions in China) knew that a specific agency was putting out sensitive information, they would definitely jeopardize their relationship.
Not only does Rumor Queen know about the rumors of what's going on, she is very knowledgeable about the process on the Chinese side of things. She has spoken with people who are VERYCLOSE to the process in China and has some insider information. Seriously- this lady knows more than most US agencies.
And so she's been a lifeline for all of us waiting families. I check site daily, and here lately, every hour. Waiting for the announcement that referrals are on their way. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. If it weren't for her, I would not have a clue when my referral was expected.
And so I hit refresh. And wait. And read. And wait.
Next week is our week. I feel it in the depths of my soul. We will know our daughter next week.
Your E-mail and More On-the-Go. Get Windows Live Hotmail Free. Sign up now.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Soon
The rumors have started.... so that usually means that matching has begun... which means we are 1-2 weeks away from seeing our sweet baby girl's face!!!
Would anyone like to start guessing what province she's from and her age?
My totally random guess is Jiangxi and I think she will be 9 months old...
We still are working on names. Planning to see her sweet face first and take it from there....
This weekend was a fun one. I did the Tour de Paws Metric Century bike ride to benefit the Spartanburg Humane Society. The ride went really well and I was averaging a good speed when a rider in front of me decide on a hill it would be a great idea to down shift to a smaller gear and his speed dropped SOFAST. I couldn't react fast enough and hit his back wheel with my front wheel. So what does one think about when one knows she's about to hit the pavement? PROTECT THE BIKE!!! Luckily all I got was some road rash on my knee and hand (yay another scar on my poor knees!), a few bruises, and some ripped up tape on my handlebars. Easy to fix. Phew. I was not a happy camper though about the incident. When you are riding in a group, no abrupt changes please!
I also took Edra shopping- we had a great time and found lots of cute things. I mostly stayed away from the baby clothes. I did buy one pair of orange stripped pants in a 6-9 month size. I couldn't resist! Gosh, I can't wait to go shopping for baby girl! At least then I will feel like I'm doing something productive!
Next weekend is the Boston College/Clemson game at home. That will help the weekend go by fast. Thankfully. I want all weekends to go by fast until we are together as a family!!!
Ready for Fall shows? Use Bing to find helpful ratings and reviews on digital tv's. Click here.
Would anyone like to start guessing what province she's from and her age?
My totally random guess is Jiangxi and I think she will be 9 months old...
We still are working on names. Planning to see her sweet face first and take it from there....
This weekend was a fun one. I did the Tour de Paws Metric Century bike ride to benefit the Spartanburg Humane Society. The ride went really well and I was averaging a good speed when a rider in front of me decide on a hill it would be a great idea to down shift to a smaller gear and his speed dropped SOFAST. I couldn't react fast enough and hit his back wheel with my front wheel. So what does one think about when one knows she's about to hit the pavement? PROTECT THE BIKE!!! Luckily all I got was some road rash on my knee and hand (yay another scar on my poor knees!), a few bruises, and some ripped up tape on my handlebars. Easy to fix. Phew. I was not a happy camper though about the incident. When you are riding in a group, no abrupt changes please!
I also took Edra shopping- we had a great time and found lots of cute things. I mostly stayed away from the baby clothes. I did buy one pair of orange stripped pants in a 6-9 month size. I couldn't resist! Gosh, I can't wait to go shopping for baby girl! At least then I will feel like I'm doing something productive!
Next weekend is the Boston College/Clemson game at home. That will help the weekend go by fast. Thankfully. I want all weekends to go by fast until we are together as a family!!!
Ready for Fall shows? Use Bing to find helpful ratings and reviews on digital tv's. Click here.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Ok, I just had to buy these...
Windows Live: Keep your friends up to date with what you do online. Find out more.
Monday, August 24, 2009
The countdown has officially begun...
With the stork bringing referrals on Friday for families logged in on 3-23-06 and 3-24-06 (Thursday and Friday), it is now safe to begin the countdown for our referral in September. Our log in date is 3-27-06 which was on a Monday. Yahoo!!!
I am guessing that referrals will arrive around 9/22, so we are at 29 days and counting.....
And, another 5 1/2 month old baby was referred... I love seeing the young babies!
Windows Live: Keep your friends up to date with what you do online. Find out more.
I am guessing that referrals will arrive around 9/22, so we are at 29 days and counting.....
And, another 5 1/2 month old baby was referred... I love seeing the young babies!
Windows Live: Keep your friends up to date with what you do online. Find out more.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Drumroll please.....
The rumors are out, and my gut instincts are correct.... we will not receive our referral this month, but we are on for September. It's finally official, we are NEXT. The rumors say that referrals are in the air as we speak and the cut off is for families logged in on March 24th. In 2006, March 24th was a Friday. There are a few families logged in on March 26th which was a Sunday- it seems odd to have a log in on a Sunday, so my guess is that these families were actually logged in on the 27th but somehow their date was miscommunicated. Regardless, by all intents and purposes, the 27th (which is our log in date) is the VERY NEXT date to be referred. This means there are no ifs, ands, or buts... we are definitely in for September.
Referrals in July came on the 21s/22nd. Referrals for August are expected on the 19th/20th. So, my best guess is that we will see our referral arrive somewhere between September 18th and September 25th with the most likely days being the 21st or 22nd.
Oh my goodness. That means there are only about 34 days until we will see the face of our baby girl! It is wild for me to think that somewhere in Beijing, our file is sitting on a worker's desk with a bunch of files of other families. And on that same desk are a pile of babies' files. And that worker is deciding which family gets which baby. It most certainly has to be Divinely inspired.
Thursday is my birthday. I will be 37. How is this possible? I still feel like I'm 24. I never in a million years thought I would be a first time mother at 37. But, somehow this feels right. It also means that I'm younger than the rest of the 37 year olds. Right?
Windows Live: Keep your friends up to date with what you do online. Find out more.
Referrals in July came on the 21s/22nd. Referrals for August are expected on the 19th/20th. So, my best guess is that we will see our referral arrive somewhere between September 18th and September 25th with the most likely days being the 21st or 22nd.
Oh my goodness. That means there are only about 34 days until we will see the face of our baby girl! It is wild for me to think that somewhere in Beijing, our file is sitting on a worker's desk with a bunch of files of other families. And on that same desk are a pile of babies' files. And that worker is deciding which family gets which baby. It most certainly has to be Divinely inspired.
Thursday is my birthday. I will be 37. How is this possible? I still feel like I'm 24. I never in a million years thought I would be a first time mother at 37. But, somehow this feels right. It also means that I'm younger than the rest of the 37 year olds. Right?
Windows Live: Keep your friends up to date with what you do online. Find out more.
Saturday, August 08, 2009
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Granola Shoes
I present to you my new shoes. Derek calls them my granola shoes. I thought they would be good for the trip- they are Merrells and they are easy to get on and off for airport security, and by golly, they are pretty comfortable.
Windows Live™: Keep your life in sync. Check it out.
Monday, August 03, 2009
Impatiently Patient
When we are travelling to get Baby Schlotterback, on our in-China flights we will be limited to one bag, 44 lbs or less per ticketed passenger.
44 lbs. That's not that much when you consider how big the suitcase is that I planned to pack. And if we travel in November, we will likely need warm clothes for our daughter's province and summer clothes for when we go to Guangzhou to finalize. (Avg temps for Guangzhou in November are around 80- it's on the same latitude line as Cuba)
Trying to figure out now how we are going to handle this. 44 lbs just isn't a lot. We'll stuff our backpacks too as carry-ons. But still. 44lbs.
At the consignment sale I found a stroller. A Graco Metro Lite for $50 (retails for about $140) that is in great condition. I also bought just a couple of outfits, but mostly pjs. And I bought a brand new pair of Robeez in size 0-6 months for $4 and a brand new pair of pink Nikes in size 3.5. I don't even know what age child wears a 3.5, but hey, they were only $5 and looked brand new. All in all I showed restraint and stayed within budget and then Grandmommy Ann surprised me with money to cover it all! YAY! Thanks Mom!
All I can say right now is that we are impatiently patient. I've been so good throughout this whole wait, taking it in stride and not really obsessing about anything. (Thank you triathlon!) But I've found as we get closer to our referral, I am becoming a neurotic mess and am very impatient, wishing the time away. But because this is all on China time, we must wait, there is nothing we can do about it. So here we are. Ok, mostly me. Impatiently patient.
Windows Live™: Keep your life in sync. Check it out.
44 lbs. That's not that much when you consider how big the suitcase is that I planned to pack. And if we travel in November, we will likely need warm clothes for our daughter's province and summer clothes for when we go to Guangzhou to finalize. (Avg temps for Guangzhou in November are around 80- it's on the same latitude line as Cuba)
Trying to figure out now how we are going to handle this. 44 lbs just isn't a lot. We'll stuff our backpacks too as carry-ons. But still. 44lbs.
At the consignment sale I found a stroller. A Graco Metro Lite for $50 (retails for about $140) that is in great condition. I also bought just a couple of outfits, but mostly pjs. And I bought a brand new pair of Robeez in size 0-6 months for $4 and a brand new pair of pink Nikes in size 3.5. I don't even know what age child wears a 3.5, but hey, they were only $5 and looked brand new. All in all I showed restraint and stayed within budget and then Grandmommy Ann surprised me with money to cover it all! YAY! Thanks Mom!
All I can say right now is that we are impatiently patient. I've been so good throughout this whole wait, taking it in stride and not really obsessing about anything. (Thank you triathlon!) But I've found as we get closer to our referral, I am becoming a neurotic mess and am very impatient, wishing the time away. But because this is all on China time, we must wait, there is nothing we can do about it. So here we are. Ok, mostly me. Impatiently patient.
Windows Live™: Keep your life in sync. Check it out.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
stuff
A few things that I've ordered have come in over the past few days. First of all, our Ergo Sport Baby Carrier came this weekend. I'm dying to try it out, but the puppy dog just doesn't want to cooperate with me on that.
A few books also came in... Rosie's Adoption Story, I Don't Have Your Eyes, and Red Thread Journey; a Fairy Tale. So Cute!!
Tonight I am going to a large consignment sale at the local Catholic church. I went to this same sale back in January and bought so many cute spring and summer outfits. Yes, those same outfits that are now probably going to waste. Today starts the fall and winter sale, so I am going to stock up.
The good news is that I found out that anyone can be a consignor. You don't have to be a member of the church. So all those things I bought before... if they end up not being used, I can take them back and re-sell them in January. They tell you to price your item at 30% of the retail price. Then if it sells, you get 70% and the church gets 30%, for which you get a tax receipt for a donation. A friend of mine said she made over $700 at one of the sales!!! Woo Hoo!!! So, I feel much more inclined to do my shopping for fall and winter. I'll buy a few 6 month things, a lot of 9 month things, and a few 12 month things. That should cover the range I need.
I can't wait. I'll try to post pictures of any treasures that I find!!
Windows Live™ Hotmail®: Search, add, and share the web's latest sports videos. Check it out.
A few books also came in... Rosie's Adoption Story, I Don't Have Your Eyes, and Red Thread Journey; a Fairy Tale. So Cute!!
Tonight I am going to a large consignment sale at the local Catholic church. I went to this same sale back in January and bought so many cute spring and summer outfits. Yes, those same outfits that are now probably going to waste. Today starts the fall and winter sale, so I am going to stock up.
The good news is that I found out that anyone can be a consignor. You don't have to be a member of the church. So all those things I bought before... if they end up not being used, I can take them back and re-sell them in January. They tell you to price your item at 30% of the retail price. Then if it sells, you get 70% and the church gets 30%, for which you get a tax receipt for a donation. A friend of mine said she made over $700 at one of the sales!!! Woo Hoo!!! So, I feel much more inclined to do my shopping for fall and winter. I'll buy a few 6 month things, a lot of 9 month things, and a few 12 month things. That should cover the range I need.
I can't wait. I'll try to post pictures of any treasures that I find!!
Windows Live™ Hotmail®: Search, add, and share the web's latest sports videos. Check it out.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Pins and Needles
Since figuring out we are next NEXT and should be receiving our referral at the end of September, I've been on Pins and Needles. All day long I've got packing lists and to do lists and what not dancing through my head. Every morning I must check the blogs of those in China now and it makes me giddy with excitement.
This is not good. This is going to make the next 2 months DRAG by.
The good news is that this months referrals had a lot of very young babies. The youngest referral I've ever seen was this month and it was for a 5 1/2 month old. I would LOVE to get a young young baby. I'm not counting on it, and I won't be disappointed if we don't, but it sure would be nice to have more of our daughter's babyhood, and that means less time for her without a mom and a dad.
So, there is a chance that all those 12 month old clothes I bought will not go to waste after all... we might be using them next spring if we get a young baby! Chinese babies are typically smaller anyway. It would not be uncommon for a 12 month old child to wear 6-9 month old clothing. But of course, with all the different ethnic minorities in China, this is not a hard and fast rule.
So that's where we are right now. In the final countdown. Less than 2 months to referral. My birthday is in August, right around the time referrals are expected. I have my last triathlon for the season on August 16th. Clemson Football starts on September 5th. If there ever was a time where I wished for time to fly by, this is it.
Windows Live™ Hotmail®: Search, add, and share the web's latest sports videos. Check it out.
This is not good. This is going to make the next 2 months DRAG by.
The good news is that this months referrals had a lot of very young babies. The youngest referral I've ever seen was this month and it was for a 5 1/2 month old. I would LOVE to get a young young baby. I'm not counting on it, and I won't be disappointed if we don't, but it sure would be nice to have more of our daughter's babyhood, and that means less time for her without a mom and a dad.
So, there is a chance that all those 12 month old clothes I bought will not go to waste after all... we might be using them next spring if we get a young baby! Chinese babies are typically smaller anyway. It would not be uncommon for a 12 month old child to wear 6-9 month old clothing. But of course, with all the different ethnic minorities in China, this is not a hard and fast rule.
So that's where we are right now. In the final countdown. Less than 2 months to referral. My birthday is in August, right around the time referrals are expected. I have my last triathlon for the season on August 16th. Clemson Football starts on September 5th. If there ever was a time where I wished for time to fly by, this is it.
Windows Live™ Hotmail®: Search, add, and share the web's latest sports videos. Check it out.
Monday, July 20, 2009
September it is...
The big news today is that the CCAA has mailed referrals for families logged in on 3-21 and 3-22. What this means for us, is that next month, the referrals should be for 3-23, 3-24, 3-25, and 3-26. (3-23 and 3-24 are medium big days and 3-25 and 3-26 are teeny tiny). We are a shoo in for September. I am 95% sure this is when it's gonna happen- when we will receive our referral. I think at this point the only thing that would prevent that from happening is if referrals stopped altogether for a month again.
So, a referral in September (likely the week of 9-21 through 9-25) would mean we will travel to China late October/Early November. YAY!!! We should be home in time for Thanksgiving. The long wait is almost over. It's hard to comprehend.
I would like to address something that today I had to address with my mom. I will not be taking the baby to any baby showers, parties, or any kind of get together until we are home for several months. Over stimulation for a child who has only known a very small world can cause them to shut down and will make the attachment process harder.
Let me paint the picture for you... a child, who is around a year old... has never ever left the orphanage except on the day she was brought to you. If she was fortunate enough to be in foster care, she was likely in a home that was very simple, perhaps even dirt floors.
Suddenly for the first time in her life she is removed from that world. And handed over to 2 people who look nothing like her other caregivers. Who smell weird and want her to eat different food. Her clothes are different too... no longer bundled up in 10 layers. And airconditioning in the hotel...this is new too. Suddenly she's in an airport... surrounded by a crowd of people...loud noises and lots of lights. Then she is on a plane for at least 17 hours. Day is night and night is now day. She is brought into a new home...all the Chinese faces have disappeared... no one looks familiar. The things these people are saying... they don't sound anything like the sounds she's heard. Suddenly there is a furry creature there....
That is a lot of change to happen to a one year old in a very short amount of time. When we come home, our world will be very small. We are going to be at home most of the time. Any trips out of the house will be to quiet places like the library, or a park, or for a walk in the neighborhood. If I have to take her to the store, she will be in the carrier facing me and we will go when I know not a lot of people will be there. Even though it will be near Christmas, the only decorations I will likely put up are the tree and stockings. All my attention will be on this child and teaching her what it means to have a mommy and a daddy and a home. After we get home I will only have 10 weeks before I am back at work full time. I have to make sure she is as attached to us as possible, and part of that means keeping her world small.
Until we feel she's bonded with us, Derek and I will be the only ones to hold her and feed her and change her. She has to learn that we are her parents and she can trust on us to take care of her.
I'm not going to be one of those parents who think their way is the only way. BUT, I am going to be vigilant about helping her bond with us in the beginning as that will set the stage for how secure she is her entire life. I'm reading the books, doing the research. I realize there are no guarantees. And our daughter may bond to us very quickly and I will be able to relax more about it when we are home. I have to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I have to be ready for this to be a difficult transition.
I know many of you mean well, and think, "Oh it will be ok, all you have to do is love her and she'll fall in love with you and Derek." I respect the fact that many of you are parents and grandparents and you have a wealth of experience and advice. But please know that parenting a child who has been instituionalized her entire life and has been abandoned twice (1st by birth parents and 2nd by her orphanage caregivers)is different than giving birth to a child. If we do it right in the beginning, the chance for problems later greatly diminishes. So while I realize you do know what you are doing for your children, please respect our wishes concerning our child. I can't wait to introduce her to our friends and family... but I will do so only as I feel she can handle it... one at a time... most likely in our home.
I hope you all can share in our joy and I hope that no one gets their feelings hurt. We are just trying to do what we feel is best for our daughter.
Windows Live™ Hotmail®: Search, add, and share the web's latest sports videos. Check it out.
So, a referral in September (likely the week of 9-21 through 9-25) would mean we will travel to China late October/Early November. YAY!!! We should be home in time for Thanksgiving. The long wait is almost over. It's hard to comprehend.
I would like to address something that today I had to address with my mom. I will not be taking the baby to any baby showers, parties, or any kind of get together until we are home for several months. Over stimulation for a child who has only known a very small world can cause them to shut down and will make the attachment process harder.
Let me paint the picture for you... a child, who is around a year old... has never ever left the orphanage except on the day she was brought to you. If she was fortunate enough to be in foster care, she was likely in a home that was very simple, perhaps even dirt floors.
Suddenly for the first time in her life she is removed from that world. And handed over to 2 people who look nothing like her other caregivers. Who smell weird and want her to eat different food. Her clothes are different too... no longer bundled up in 10 layers. And airconditioning in the hotel...this is new too. Suddenly she's in an airport... surrounded by a crowd of people...loud noises and lots of lights. Then she is on a plane for at least 17 hours. Day is night and night is now day. She is brought into a new home...all the Chinese faces have disappeared... no one looks familiar. The things these people are saying... they don't sound anything like the sounds she's heard. Suddenly there is a furry creature there....
That is a lot of change to happen to a one year old in a very short amount of time. When we come home, our world will be very small. We are going to be at home most of the time. Any trips out of the house will be to quiet places like the library, or a park, or for a walk in the neighborhood. If I have to take her to the store, she will be in the carrier facing me and we will go when I know not a lot of people will be there. Even though it will be near Christmas, the only decorations I will likely put up are the tree and stockings. All my attention will be on this child and teaching her what it means to have a mommy and a daddy and a home. After we get home I will only have 10 weeks before I am back at work full time. I have to make sure she is as attached to us as possible, and part of that means keeping her world small.
Until we feel she's bonded with us, Derek and I will be the only ones to hold her and feed her and change her. She has to learn that we are her parents and she can trust on us to take care of her.
I'm not going to be one of those parents who think their way is the only way. BUT, I am going to be vigilant about helping her bond with us in the beginning as that will set the stage for how secure she is her entire life. I'm reading the books, doing the research. I realize there are no guarantees. And our daughter may bond to us very quickly and I will be able to relax more about it when we are home. I have to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I have to be ready for this to be a difficult transition.
I know many of you mean well, and think, "Oh it will be ok, all you have to do is love her and she'll fall in love with you and Derek." I respect the fact that many of you are parents and grandparents and you have a wealth of experience and advice. But please know that parenting a child who has been instituionalized her entire life and has been abandoned twice (1st by birth parents and 2nd by her orphanage caregivers)is different than giving birth to a child. If we do it right in the beginning, the chance for problems later greatly diminishes. So while I realize you do know what you are doing for your children, please respect our wishes concerning our child. I can't wait to introduce her to our friends and family... but I will do so only as I feel she can handle it... one at a time... most likely in our home.
I hope you all can share in our joy and I hope that no one gets their feelings hurt. We are just trying to do what we feel is best for our daughter.
Windows Live™ Hotmail®: Search, add, and share the web's latest sports videos. Check it out.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Freak out!
So I'm surfing the net this morning, making all my usual stops and I see a new post on Rumor Queen.... apparently a Canadian agency received referrals yesterday for their families logged in on 3/21 and 3/23. WHAT?
What does this mean? Were these referrals sent out by accident too early? Were they really logged in on 3/20 and they are just late?
So many possibilities. I've emailed CCAI to see what's up. Because if this is a 2nd batch, and that batch goes through 3/23, then there is a great chance that we are NEXT.
Did I just type that?
Oh Boy. I'm gonna be one busy girl next week. I suddenly feel so unprepared!
What does this mean? Were these referrals sent out by accident too early? Were they really logged in on 3/20 and they are just late?
So many possibilities. I've emailed CCAI to see what's up. Because if this is a 2nd batch, and that batch goes through 3/23, then there is a great chance that we are NEXT.
Did I just type that?
Oh Boy. I'm gonna be one busy girl next week. I suddenly feel so unprepared!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
A List a Mile Long...
So next week I am off from work (mandatory shut down) and my to do list has grown like kudzu on a steamy afternoon in the South. (for those of you that don't know, kudzu grows like a gazillion feet per day).
I want to replace our front shutters... the green ones that are up are getting kind of bleached out from the sun. I am putting up black instead (they are in stock at home depot). I also need to pull weeds and clean the house. You know, one of those "good" cleanings where you do things like dust the ceiling fans.
I want to go register at Target and Babies R Us. This is how I am going to feed my shopping habit without actually spending any money. I am very excited to do this, I've held off because our referral seems so far away. Well, it's getting closer now, and I know I won't have time to do it after the referral, so I thought I'd go ahead. My friend Jennifer is going with me to do the Target one and my mom is going with me to do the one at Babies R Us. Fun stuff! I hope to visit a few consignment shops as well while we are out.
I also need to start the 100 good wishes quilt. If I don't do it before baby girl comes home, she'll be in college before I get to work on it. I figure I'll do the top and then get someone else (perhaps the quilt shop) to quilt it to the bottom. First I have to decide on a design and buy the coordinating fabric. I will probably do that this Saturday, after my triathlon.
Oh yeh, did I mention I'm racing again this weekend? Short sprint here in town, shouldn't be too big of a deal. Should be home and done by lunch.
I am also taking Derek's mom to a few doctor's appointments, and I'm sure other things will crop up during the week. And of course I'll need some relaxing-by-the-pool time. Good stuff.
Today I ordered "Taming the Tiger While It's Still A Kitten" attachment parenting cds and booklet. I really need to start educating myself on this. Odds are our daughter won't have any issues, still, I think we need to be prepared in case there are problems.
I guess that's all that's going on at the moment. The next set of referrals probably won't be out until the week of July 20th- 24th. I hope hope hope they do more than just 2 days worth, but that is all I am realistically expecting.
I want to replace our front shutters... the green ones that are up are getting kind of bleached out from the sun. I am putting up black instead (they are in stock at home depot). I also need to pull weeds and clean the house. You know, one of those "good" cleanings where you do things like dust the ceiling fans.
I want to go register at Target and Babies R Us. This is how I am going to feed my shopping habit without actually spending any money. I am very excited to do this, I've held off because our referral seems so far away. Well, it's getting closer now, and I know I won't have time to do it after the referral, so I thought I'd go ahead. My friend Jennifer is going with me to do the Target one and my mom is going with me to do the one at Babies R Us. Fun stuff! I hope to visit a few consignment shops as well while we are out.
I also need to start the 100 good wishes quilt. If I don't do it before baby girl comes home, she'll be in college before I get to work on it. I figure I'll do the top and then get someone else (perhaps the quilt shop) to quilt it to the bottom. First I have to decide on a design and buy the coordinating fabric. I will probably do that this Saturday, after my triathlon.
Oh yeh, did I mention I'm racing again this weekend? Short sprint here in town, shouldn't be too big of a deal. Should be home and done by lunch.
I am also taking Derek's mom to a few doctor's appointments, and I'm sure other things will crop up during the week. And of course I'll need some relaxing-by-the-pool time. Good stuff.
Today I ordered "Taming the Tiger While It's Still A Kitten" attachment parenting cds and booklet. I really need to start educating myself on this. Odds are our daughter won't have any issues, still, I think we need to be prepared in case there are problems.
I guess that's all that's going on at the moment. The next set of referrals probably won't be out until the week of July 20th- 24th. I hope hope hope they do more than just 2 days worth, but that is all I am realistically expecting.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
